


The Rule of Bedtime

by BalloonArcade



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: Crack, Humor, If You Squint - Freeform, Pre MegaRod, Which I do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 03:17:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9473045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BalloonArcade/pseuds/BalloonArcade
Summary: The Rule of Bedtime is sanctimonious on the Lost Light, and Megatron is completely baffled as to why.It's not like they have a sparkling on board.





	

“You have got to be joking Magnus. I understand that the mechs on this ship can be unusual but really? A bedtime?”

Megatron was sitting across from Ultra Magnus in his office where Magnus was lecturing him on a rule he had apparently broken last night cycle.

“It is a human expression we have adopted aboard the ship. It means that all crew members who are not on shift during the night cycle must be in their quarters and quiet after this particular time. The night shift crew members must remain absolutely quiet and focused on their tasks, not even a hint of deviation, or all will be lost.”

Megatron had noticed whenever members of the crew were assigned night shift duties they were all oddly diligent and focused. Even Whirl. A stark contrast to the loud, rambunctious, and frankly baffling behaviour of the crew during the day cycle. That was why he preferred taking the night cycle shifts on the bridge.

Somehow it all came down to The Rule of Bedtime and it didn’t make any sense.

“I know what bedtime means! What I want to know is why this is one of your top rules? Last I checked there are no sparklings aboard this ship - though knowing what I’ve experienced this past decacycle it wouldn’t surprise me if your office door suddenly opens and a sparkling crawls in and -”

The door to Ultra Magnus’ office suddenly opened and Rodimus poked his helm in and glared at the two of them in suspicion. That wasn't unusual, Rodimus had been glaring at Megatron all cycle.

“It’s almost bedtime Magnus, you two aren’t about to start having fun are you?”

“No Rodimus.” Ultra Magnus responded with a slight waver to his vocalizer as his servos shuddered slightly on his datapad. “Megatron and I were simply discussing some of the rules we have established on the Lost Light.”

“Ugh. No thank you. Rules. _Boring_. I’m heading to bed then, after I check what Brainstorm and Nautica are up to in his lab.”

“They will be heading to bed as well Rodimus. Bedtime is strictly enforced. You know this. Off to your bed, it will not come to you.” Ultra Magnus chuckled at his own lame joke twice then abruptly stopped as Rodimus narrowed his optics at him.

“I _know_. I just have to check to make sure everyone is in their quarters first. Especially after I found Megatron walking around chuckling with Ravage after hours when he wasn’t on night shift.” Rodimus glared at Megatron as if it was a crime that he had been taking a walk with his friend when he had been unable to recharge.

Megatron just rolled his optics and ignored him.

Because apparently on _this ship_ that was a crime. At this point it shouldn’t surprise Megatron but it did. A bedtime? Honestly, they were all adult mechs on this ship.

“Don’t roll your optics at me. I know you are on night shift tonight. One peep, and I’ll know. You can’t hide it from me Megsie. I know everything important that happens on this ship the instant it happens and I’ll be there. I’m watching you.” Rodimus used two digits to point to his own optics then to Megatron as he drifted out of the doorway sideways and was gone.

“Well that’s a complete lie.” Megatron grumbled to Ultra Magnus across from him. He wasn't complaining. Megatron did not complain. “Rodimus recharged through one of our engines exploding and being repaired in the middle of night shift three cycles ago.”

“All due respect sir, I understand that you are Co-Captain, but The Rule of Bedtime is non-negotiable. Every crew member takes it very seriously.” 

“And you won’t explain why.” That wasn’t a question. Ultra Magnus seemed immovable on this.

“We do not speak of those times before The Rule of Bedtime. Those were dark cycles for everyone aboard the ship. Honestly, it makes my plating rattle to even consider it. I implore you sir, respect The Rule of Bedtime. It is sanctimonious, and in every crew member’s best interest.”

Megatron simply cycled a frustrated ventilation and stomped away toward the bridge. 

When he arrived Rodimus was standing outside the door with his arms crossed and glaring at him.

Megatron ignored him but as he walked into the bridge he heard Rodmius mutter, “That’s right, get your aft on the bridge for your shift. I’m on to you.”

And Megatron simply shook his helm. He had learned that it was generally best to ignore Rodimus and his more eccentric behaviour. He fed off attention and it was not worth the argument. Plus Megatron was quite frankly looking forward to his night cycle shift and the diligent focus of the night crew.

“Perceptor report on the ship’s status.” He always requested a status as soon as he entered the bridge but tonight Perceptor held up his servo at him, intently focused on his monitor and his other servo against his audio listening intently.

“Perceptor what -“

Hound turned around from his place and shushed Megatron. 

_Shushed him_! 

Hound had never been able to so much as look him in the optics.

Every crew member on board the bridge was sitting or standing perfectly still and running their ventilation on silent as if they were on a stealth infiltration mission.

Megatron went to walk over to see what was on Perceptor’s screen when Bluestreak pulled his rifle out at him and commed him not to take another step until Perceptor gave the okay.

What the frag was going on?

He stood there motionless with the tense and focused atmosphere of the night shift crew members he generally enjoyed and was baffled. 

After half a joor, Perceptor finally relaxed.

“He’s in recharge.”

And all the crew on the bridge finally allowed their ventilation to return to normal. 

Megatron walked over to Perceptor’s station and before the scientist could change the screen away, Megatron saw that he had the surveillance system focused on multiple angles of Rodimus’ quarter’s entrance.

“The Rule of Bedtime is for Rodimus?” He asked with disbelief. “He recharged through our engines exploding and being repaired!”

“That’s because repairing engines is boring, and none of us made a joke the entire repair.” Hound answered seriously. 

“Rodimus does not consider that important and worth his time. However, Rodimus is precisely why we instituted The Rule of Bedtime and why it is strictly enforced. The captain will simply not recharge if he has even the smallest hint that a mech on this ship enjoying themselves without him.” Perceptor explained.

“Wait, you are telling me Rodimus won’t recharge because he’s worried he’s missing out on fun?” Megatron stated with a chuckle.

Bluestreak threw himself across the bridge and clamped his servo on top of Megatron’s mouth.

“Shhhh, you idiot. He’ll hear!”

Megatron tore Bluestreak’s servo away from his mouth. 

“Don’t be ridiculous there is no way he could -“

The door to the bridge opened to a furious looking Rodimus. 

“I _knew it_ , I knew you guys were having fun on the night shift without me. It’s Megatron isn’t it? He’s secretly hilarious and you’ve all been keeping it to yourselves.” He jumped onto the captain’s chair and glared. “Well I’m not leaving until Megatron makes me laugh too. I missed the first joke, I am not missing the next one.”

Megatron looked shocked at Perceptor and Perceptor glared daggers through his helm.

:We don’t know how he does it. We tried fake laughs and he never shows up. I asked Brainstorm about it and all he did was curl into a ball and apologize for creating what Rodimus asked, said he can’t even find where he hid them to turn them off. All I know is that even the hint of genuine laughter, and he appears, and now thanks to _you_ , he won’t fragging recharge for at least a decacycle because you laughed on night cycle without him.:

Bluestreak glared at Megatron as he circled away from him back to his station.

: _You_ get to sparkling sit him every joor of every cycle until he finally collapses into recharge. He gets even more hyper when he doesn’t sleep, and now Drift isn’t here to entertain him and keep him from causing explosions or taking the ship event horizon skating.: 

Looking at Hound and the expression on his faceplate caused Megatron’s lines to feel like they were suddenly flooded with ice, and he couldn’t suppress his shudder as Hound spoke to him over comms.

:You broke the Rule of Bedtime. You deal with the consequences or we all suffer. We’ve all done our time, even Ultra Magnus.:

Finally Megatron looked toward Rodimus who was lounging on the captain’s seat and looking at Megatron with an intensity he had never seen as he smiled, waiting for entertainment.

“I warned all of you.” Rodimus declared ominously. “You can’t hide fun from me. I’m a fun detector.” Then he chuckled as he glanced to a corner of the bridge.

Slaggit all. 

Rodimus had asked Brainstorm to create him a Fun Detector and of course the brilliant inventor had managed it. 

:Ravage see if you can find and disable all of the _fun detector_ devices Rodimus has hidden around the ship.:

:Already on it.:

Megatron would deal with the consequences of breaking The Rule of Bedtime his own way. He wasn’t about to let Rodimus terrorize _their_ crew. 

He’d sit on him until he recharged if he had to.

How much harder could Rodimus be to deal with than Skywarp? Skywarp physically couldn’t be locked in a room.

A small voice in the back of his processor stated that at least Megatron had the support of Skywarp’s trine to get him to finally recharge.

He batted the voice that sounded suspiciously like Starscream aside.

Rodimus couldn’t teleport.

Surely it wouldn’t be that hard to convince him to stay in berth.

**Author's Note:**

> What happens when I need to practice writing Ultra Magnus for spoiler!reasons, and somehow this became about Rodmius being unable to sleep if he thinks mechs on his ship are having fun without him.
> 
> Also ntldr is a horrible horrible enabler and sends the best random youtube videos for headcanons.


End file.
